Thursday, July 28, 2005


Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
"Sony BMG Music Entertainment, agreed Monday to pay $10 million and to stop paying radio station employees to feature its artists."

Epic (SONY label) employee who was trying to promote the group Audioslave to a Clear Channel network programmer asked in an e-mail:

"WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET AUDIOSLAVE ON WKSS THIS WEEK?!!? Whatever you can dream up, I can make it happen."

I was not surprised to find out SONY was paying radio stations to play Audioslave records.

I was however quite surprised when I heard people were paying to listen to Audioslave records.

Forbes writes about it right here where i stole the quotes.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Everything Bad Is Good For Swing Votes

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
A while back I did a post about Steven Johnson's "Everything Bad Is Good For You: How Today's Popular Culture Is Actually Making Us Smarter." A book about the positive aspects of pop culture focusing largely on video games.

Those of you who still think "Hot Coffee" is why you sue McDonald's won't understand the importance of Mr. Johnson's recent open letter to Hillary Clinton, but a quick google search on "hot coffee" will get you up to speed and you'll be surprised by the lack of hits pertaining to actual "cups of joe."

Hillary, among others, is going after the video game industry with both barrels due to a mini game someone unlocked in Grand Theft Auto that involves clothed characters dry humping. She and her constituents are calling for a 90 million dollar study on the effects of violence in video games on today's youth.

Steven Johnson's letter pretty well sums up my opinion of the ridiculous waste of money, time and effort these politicians are about to embark upon at our expense.

Remember watching Frank Zappa go up against the Senate, the PMRC and the RIAA? He told the music listening public "Don't bend over for the wives of big brother."

Remember Ozzy Osbourne being implicated as the cause of a double teen suicide. They even brought up his song "suicide solution" in court failing to realize it was about the dangers of alcoholism.

It's insane scenes like that which bring us the likes of Good Charlotte and Maroon 5 (spit).

I never used to know exactly what "knee jerk reaction" meant. I think I get it now.

GameGirlAdvance has a nice take on it.

"Always two there are, a master and an apprentice."

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
This just in: An unnamed spokesperson for the Rebel Alliance has issued a statement regarding the new white PSP.

"Not since Haliburton was granted the Death Star contract has the Alliance been more outraged. SONY has obviously chosen sides in the battle against good and evil. Rumors began when the PSP was released in all black. Though it was not branded as such it was obviously the Darth Vader edition. The recent release of the Stormtrooper edition simply proves our point."

A representative at SONY claims that "white was simply the obvious choice after black," he added "We will seriously consider talking to some of those "iPod sock" companies about making a baggy orange jumpsuit with grease stains on it as a PSP "skin" option for rebels." The Alliance was not impressed.

Check the snazzy photos at PSPworld

Play the original gaming system that came in black and white here

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

"I'm The Man In The Box"

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Does somebody make this already? If they don't I wish they would and if they do I have my Amex ready. I'd like a box to put on my desk with an AI (artificial intelligence) in it. A really dumb one. But it can speak, it can hear and most importantly it can learn alot. I was thinking out of the package it would know a few simple phrases and the rest it would learn from me.

So you know I get it and plug it in and go "hi" and it says "hello, what's your name?" I say "Dave" and it say Hi, Dave. What is my name? I say "Box" and so on.

Then I go out for a bit and come back and say "hey, what's happnin' box?" and it will respond "how do I reply to that?" And I say "you may say 'not much really, just kinda sitting around.'"

The box will have little unseen inteligences like one to help it notice if it is repeating itself often and ask for alternate answers that it can choose from. And so chats with the box would become more and more interesting and involved as time went by and soon I would be leaving the AC on for Box and feeling bad about going on vacations.

Eventually I connect 'ol Box up to the internet so I can ask it questions and it can google them. And I hook it up to my lights and stereo and TV. It will be particularly exciting for me and those of my namesake on that inevitable day when I go to make a minor adjustment on the unit and with no prompting at all Box will calmly say "Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

Friday, July 22, 2005

iDJ youDJ we all DJ... Just Not With This.

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
This post could easily have been an Oh My God I So Thought Of That feature if not for the fact that What I thought of makes alot more sense. So consider this a product review.

Ok, lets have a look at this thing. Numark's IDJ mixing console. It looks great, all ipody and everything. But see here's the thing. See those 2 Ipods? Maybe one is yours and one is your roomate's. Maybe you have your old ipod and your new one (it accepts any model.) Chances are they are full of different songs. So you are playing Bounce, Skate, Roll and the dance floor is packed. You suddenly realize the perfect mix (obviously) would be coming into Slave's Watching You. The BPMs match and the feel is just right. BUT oh wait. Those songs are on the same I pod. And why wouldn't they be. Same genre, same era...

Here's what they should have done. Have an ipod dock on the left, on the right have a tilted elevated screen to match the left side. When you dock the ipod it emulates a copy of itself in some kind of cache which appears on the left side's "ipod screen." Now you've got all of your songs available all of the time, including what's playing. So unless I'm missing something in the descriptions I am reading Numark dropped the ball. My way the unit would have been alot more enticing to consumers who own only one Ipod and would be more useful to an actual DJ.

But its white with light blue markings and round edges so I am sure it will sell like... um... like ipods!

UPDATE: We have just recieved word from an anonymous commenter... "in case you guys dont know numark have just brought out the Numark Idj2 it only holds one ipod and YES you can play two songs from teh same ipod problem SOLVED!" GNF cracks the whip and industry falls in line. I brag about it HERE.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

GNF's First Feature

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
It is time I instituted some regular features here at GreedoNeverFired. I mean if a guy is gonna pretend to be running a popular blog he might as well pretend it right. And from what I see out there the big guys have "features." A repeating category that the readers look forward to. Don't my imaginary readers deserve features? I say yes. I SAID YES!

So with out further ado welcome to Why Didn't I Think of That.

On some occasions to be known as Oh My God I Totally Thought Of That.

Today's Why Didn't I Think of That is attributed to the new Xbox 360 (coming November 2005.) This is so simple. They added "parental controls." Thats it. So the parents set it up and they have a pass code and they allow or disallow games of a particular rating. The kid can steal the game from EB Games or give me the money and i can go in and buy it for him, but it wont play on his console. Perfect! Why didn't I think of that?

I know, I know, "kids are are more tech savvy than their parents... they will hack it..." Okay, if your kid hacks it congratulations you've got a smart kid. Buy him a Linux box and tell him its wrong to pull people out of cars and beat them with the butt of a shotgun. It's the time it takes to beat someone that gets you caught, just get in and lay rubber.

Oh, and yes this post marks the date that I started reffering to the blog as GNF.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Not Just Another Red Shirt

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
It is a sad day for Star Trek fans. Which is what I am. James Doohan, whom most of you know as the Starship Enterprise's Chief Engineer Scotty, has passed away at the ripe old age of 85. Successful, loved by millions, 85 years old and his wife by his side. All in all I'd say thats not bad.

Many will not see the irony that Scotty was a "red shirt" and therefor should have issued his last line just off camera a long time ago. He even beat out Bones (DeForest Kelley) a "blue shirt" who died in 99.

I don't know alot about Scotty except that he could drink a Klingon under the table. He was the only guy brave enough to work in a Jeffries Tube (see photo). And he was a master of the "pump and dump." The art of inflating the time and money needed for a task so that you can impress your boss by coming in ahead of schedule and under budget.

Here is a lesser known piece of information about James Doohan the man.

"He was wounded as an infantryman during the D-Day invasion of Normandy and returned to action later in the war as a fighter pilot."

No "beam me up" jokes here. You'll see enough of them soon enough.

UPDATE: He actually took 6 bullets and the one that hit his chest was deflected by his cigarette case - this was the point he considered taking up acting. Thanks Walking Spanish.

UPDATE: Arangements have been made for a portion of Doohan's ashes to be sent into space on a Falcon 1 rocket scheduled for launch in California in September of this year. Thanks Slip of a Girl

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Rudy Rucker Land

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Hot Damn! Rudy Rucker, professor, mathematician and hands down my favorite author of all time has done me the honor of posting one of my Rock-Land posters on his blog.

"On a completely random note, a guy called Dave Horowitz writes that he’s having “a tiny party in a small downstairs bar on Avenue A” and to add to the luster of the occasion he made up some posters as if Washer Drop were playing there!"

That is huge and of course elevates me to a new and even more exciting and mate repelling level of nerd.

See Rudy Rucker's Blog here. Buy his latest book Frek and the Elixir. You won't be sorry.

See Rock-Land posters here.

Friday, July 15, 2005

2 Ways To Beat Tivo

Here's an idea I had. Now I don't have a Tivo, but I am told you guys get through commercials by fast forwarding. Which really bugs those advertisers. I think someone should make a commercial, either in slow motion or with less frames or something. That plays normally or in some interesting way when fast forwarded. I don't usually pipe up to help advertisers but seems to me if you did that... A) it would be cool, B) it would come with a bunch of free advertising from all the articles written like "Ad beats Tivo!' And C) you will have beaten Tivo!

Of course you'd have to buy 2 minutes time for a 30 second spot and I don't even know if its possible. I am just saying someone should try it.

Just in case they actually get hip to this idea. Here's a way to avoid them still. The DVR that I use is ReplayTV. We have a "30 Sec Skip" button so we are through the commercials in 3 to 6 pushes of one button. Turns out Tivo has this function as well. It has just been turned off. You can turn it back on with some simple button combos found here at Big Marv's place.

(No picture today. Flickr just wasn't havin it.)

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Arab Nations Soon To Be Stunned

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Well its about time. The military is finaly ready to skip the "laser" and "blaster" steps and jump directly to phasers. Phasers, which we all know, can be set on "stun". Or, of course "vaporize" if there are no embedded reporters around.

"When you're dealing with people whose full intent is to die, you can't give people a choice of whether to comply," said George Gibbs, who oversees directed-energy projects. "What I'm looking for is a way to shoot everybody, and they're all OK."

This attitude is probably what's holding up support from the government. The engineers working on this keep throwing around terms like "non-lethal" an expression that does nothing to excite Texans and their like. I recommend demos which involve melting tanks and their passengers. Get those good ol' boys riled up and then mention that you can "set it on stun."

Of course right now the "Directed Energy Weapon" is a 20ft. tower, but miniaturization is our specialty as of late. So it wont be long before soldiers are complaing the buttons are too small.

Read all about it here.

And thank you Rich-Rock for the heads up.

Local Boy Makes Good

Local Boy Makes Good
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Local of course to the good people of Narromine, Australia.

His name is Adam Phillips and he is among other things a flash animator. And I'd praise him just for that, but more importantly he left Disney. He was the head of an effects team and he left.

Now, he has created Brackenwood. A wooded planet with mystical creatures. It is just the beginnings for this place but so far so very good.

To see the place go to and watch Prowlies At The River and Bitey Of Brackenwood. Of course I suggest you watch everything there.

And special thanks goes to the Flash community website that brought Adam Philips to my attention.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Video Games Once Again Proven Total Waste Of Time

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
I hate NASCAR. First of all its a waste of gas. How can you push for conservation when driving cars in a circle is your nations number one sport? Second of all its an oval track. "left turn Clyde." I just don't get it.

That said, let me use NASCAR to my advantage when it suits me. Carl Edwards had a race coming up at Pocono and was not entirely familiar with the track. So he got on the SONY PlayStation in his RV and found the Pocono track and ran it over and over.

"It’s a NASCAR game that you can buy on the shelf," he said. "I’ve got a steering wheel and a clutch. Coming to a new track and spending time on one of those things really helps."

So there you have it. Video Games helping "athletes" earn millions.

For what real world event am I preparing for when I play Halo 2 you ask? Why for the day I show up at Kinko's armed to the teeth and blood thirsty for pay back of course.

Story from Washington Post

UPDATE: Crissy points out "how much do you really need to learn about an oval?"

Thursday, July 07, 2005


Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
I actually never bought an portable music player. I've never been a big fan of headphones. But now that my entire music library will fit on one of these things I am suddenly very interested. If only just to always have it with me incase the opportunity to drop some science arises.
So do I go and look at some of the hot new players? Like the Archos Gmini XS 202 or the Olympus m:robe MR-F30 .

Nope, sorry Dave, you downloaded most of your music from iTunes in AAC format and while these players can handle everything from MP3 to Ogg Vorbis they CANNOT play AACs. I honestly feel like that guy in high-school who had that wikked awesome movie collection... on Beta Max.

George, if you are reading this, now would be a good time to start rubbing it in.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

WTF! Ed, Edd n Eddy!

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Okay, the coffee is still fresh in my nostrils on this one. I am having a bagel and watching Ed, Edd n Eddy on Cartoon Network
at noon when I hear this line:

"Ed! What the fuck are you doing?! Gimme' back my stuff."

So I rewind... and again and again.

"Ed! What the fuck are you doing?! Gimme' back my stuff."

Ya see Ed is putting together a time capsule and his buddy Eddy has a problem with his choice of items.

Its Cartoon Network! At noon! Right before The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy!

I have it paused on my ReplayTV but I am hoping someone knows where to see it on the web. It is Episode 46: The Good Ole Ed. Anybody? Lemme know.

This Week in Tech

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Not all that long ago there was a channel on the cable TV that was dedicated entirely to tech related stuff. It was called TechTV. Man do I miss it. I used to leave it on all day like it was a radio show. But of course the "fat baldies" fired everyone and turned it into a "gaming" network featuring the frosted tips and lofted tits of actors playing the parts of hot geeks.

Well, the victims of that disaster all wound up on the same lifeboat and its an internet radio show called This Week in Tech. A bare bones podcast about tech hosted by Leo Laporte (formerly of The Screen Savers & Call for Help)and it is geeky beyond your wildest dreams.

If you've never used a podcast fear not. You're iTunes now has a podcast section. And this is a great opportunity to try one out. Just go into the iTunes podcast section and do a search for This Week in Tech or for it's founder Leo LaPorte. Then listen to it! Or better yet drop it onto your ipod and listen to it on the way to work.

And you thought that freak next to you was wasting his morning commute listening to the Japanese import of Surfer Rosa/Come on Pilgrim. Nope, he's gettin' tech savvy and gunnin' for your job.

This Week in Tech

Don't Call It A Come Back

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Geeze, I must be the 1000th person to use that as a headline. Sorry. Anyway, the PSP has finally passed the DS in sales. I knew it would. Everyone was quick to point out its weak performance out of the gate, but once you've held it and played it you know.
It all works out though. If you count the GBA (Game Boy Advance) sales Nintendo is still dominating. There are some numbers here.

Now, for the 2 of you still reading (and you know who you are.) That thing the PSP is nestled in in the photo is the NYKO Theater Experience. It is an "Aluminum Case with Built-in Rechargeable Battery (5 no make that 4 extra hours of movie time,) Hi-Fi Speakers and System Stand." It is tuff on the outside and useful on the inside and has dual headphone jacks making watching a movie on the PSP as romantic as an ice cream soda with two straws.

I give it 2 arthritic, carpal tunnel riddled thumbs up.

Im tired of creating links... besides It's all over the damn web so google it if you want one. I'm talkin' to you Ricky
and Redboy.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Dog of the Dead or 3 Dog Night of the Living Dead

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Okay here is a story thats already a bit stale but since I promised a dog story I am allowing it.

"US scientists have succeeded in reviving dogs after three hours of clinical death..." That's right kids Zombie Dogs. I wasn't gonna write about this, but those two pooches in the last post got me thinking that it ain't right.

I mean, I love the idea of scientists figuring out how to achieve suspended animation. I would love to be put under and not woken until the Xbox 360 is available, but killing dogs to do it... NOT COOL!

I know we kill alot of critters everyday, but pooches? Come on man.

Play dead. Good boy.

see article

Front Page Extensions

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
I would just like to point everyone to this fantastic sitre called where you can look at the front page of more than 300 U.S. and international newspapers. And its updated EVERY DAY! Go there (by there I mean here) and check it out.

I know, I know, you were hoping I was gonna write about those two cute lil fellers on the front page of The Modesto Bee there. Well, I will see what I can do.