Tuesday, June 28, 2005

It's like screaming at a ball!!!

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Here is an update for you all on the Nike/Minor Threat story.

Nike has issued a a statement with an excuse and an apology and a "we will throw away all the stuff we made." But they didn't say they made it. They said skaters made it. Therefor making Dischord look like they are attacking skaters.

I guess it was just an oversite. It's a severly understaffed legal department over there at Nike and hugely iconic, copyrighted artwork, photographs and logos often slip through the cracks.

Nike says "This was a poor judgment call and should not have been executed without consulting Minor Threat and Dischord Records."

COME ON!!! Seriosly, Nike doesnt make "judgement calls." This is not a little boutique ad house. This is NIKE INCORPORATED! They make close to 400 million a quarter. They don't put in a lunch order without first "running it by legal."

Perhaps all of their copyright and trademark lawyers were busy attacking John Smith Ale's new horseshoe logo which they say resembles the Nike "swoosh".

See the shoe barely on the other foot here (no photo, but trust me its just a damn horseshoe.)

Dragon Flys

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
I am so tired of my Zippo lighter getting wet when I walk past an open fire hydrant. No, that's not it. I can't bare to see it's perfect finish scratched and dented. No, that's not it either.

So why the hell would I want a this "completely rugged - waterproof to 100 ft., dustproof and drop-resistant Zippo case?"

16 words... it "conforms to DOT-E 14194 and may be transported in checked baggage by Domestic passenger aircraft."

Thats right with
The Zippo Cargo Case by OtterBox (coming in mid July) it is once again legal for your trusty Zippo to fly the not so friendly skies.
Unfortunately it has to go in your checked luggage and I have never checked a bag. I travel light.
But no wuckin' furries I will just ask someone who is checking a bag if they mind me placing an item in their luggage which I will retrieve once we've landed. Airports appreciate and encourage the good samaritan. Besides I hear Gitmo is lovely this time of year.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Number One in the Hood G

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

It's not about water, teens, hunger or force, but it is HY-larious.

It strikes me as a "those who don't hate it will love it" kinda thing.

Here's the schedule Enjoy!

Friday, June 24, 2005

What The F*ck Have You Done!? Nike!

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Oh my god am I pissed. Probably not half as pissed as Ian McKaye, but pissed. I just came across this little event item on Transworld Skateboarding's website. They cheerfully anounce Nike's new skateboard tour, but fail to point out that Nike has ripped off Dischord Records and Minor Threats Album art as well as a couple of fonts and what I am assuming is Glen Friedman's Photograph.

I knew these images were stolen because if you know anything about Dischord and Ian McKaye (front man of Minor Threat and Fugazi) its that they DO NOT sell out. Ian spent years putting black Sharpie over logos on his clothes so as not to accidentaly promote a company and now perhaps the greatest hardcore record of all time has been kidnapped by its greatest enemy.
Go to Transworld Skateboarding and click on the "comment on this" button below the pilfered art work. You'll see the beginnings of what I hope will be a HUGE backlash.

Take your time - Try not to forget - We never will - We're just a minor threat

UPDATE: The Dischord news page has posted a small statement.

UPDATE II: Nike releases a statement. An apology actually. Here at punknews.org

Thursday, June 23, 2005

All Your Chips Are Belong To Us

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Finally, I thought I'd never have the excuse. Ya see a good way to improve your standing in search engines is to cover topics that are heavily searched... like say "Paris Hilton" or "PSP." There, just now I helped my standing. But I want to be honest about it. I dont want to just jam this thing full of metatags I wanna "earn it." I need a reason.

You ask for a miracle Theo I give you...

The World Series of Poker Robots, being held July 12-15 at the Golden Palace casino in Las Vegas.
Thats right, as if beating us in chess wasn't proof enough that the positronic brain is superior and robots should be our benevolent overlords.
The prize is 100,000 dollars. Not so useful to the mechanical player, but at least it's in ones and zeros. More importantly the winner of the Robot tourney goes on to play the winner of the Human World Series of Poker. A puny, pathetic human. Perhaps it will be UNIVAC vs. Unabomber.

Will they play Texas Hold em'? They probably will play Texas Hold em'. And why wouldn't they play Texas Hold em'? I mean it is one of the top searched terms on the internet.


Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Ticker Kicker

Ticker Kicker On Flickr
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
There was once a guy who made James Bond come off a bit prude. His name was Flint. As in the 1966 film Our Man Flint. He, like his predecessor, also dabbled in gadgetry and I always loved this watch he had (pictured right) that had a little metal arm (highlighted) come out and poke you when it was time to stop playing dead and leap from your coffin and save the day. I think that's why my first beeper made me think "too bad watches don't vibrate (I might wear one.)

Well, they do now!

Vibration has traveled from our girlfriend's recreational regions upwards into our pockets to our waitng cell phones then through our hands to our girlfriend inhibiting Dual Shock Gaming Controllers and finaly pulled a quick 180 and landed on our wrists.
Where it stops noone knows.

Casio's Vibrating Watch

Monday, June 20, 2005

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
So four "jerks" with a rigged microphone trying to get footage for what will no doubt be another infantile "prank show" squirted Tom Cruise with water at the War of the Worlds premiere in London.

Why am I writing about it? Because up until now I thought Tom Cruise was one far out crazy super star. Now, I am with him all the way.

I watched the video of the incident and was very impressed. He keeps his cool and begins questioning the guy as to "what is so funny about that." He keeps him there calmly demanding an explanation.

Now, I would love to have seen him do the truly right thing and flatten this guys face, but alas I have much less to lose (much, much less.)

I am anxiously awaiting my prank. I figure between Boiling Points and the half dozen like it a regular guy is bound to get his chance. And when I do I will do what I am sure Cruise was dying to do and just start swinging. Of course eventually I would let up enough to allow the perpetrator to inform me it was a joke. And with that I would resume... because it is unreasonable, inexcusable behavior.

Good job Tom.

iFilm clip of same (better)

UPDATE: Ok, a week has gone by and based on interviews and general behavior I once again think Tom Cruize is coo coo for cocoa puffs. Oh well.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Red Eye Redux

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
I dont want to ruin this by describing it. In short it is an advert that never made it to air. It so should have.

See it HERE

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

"Use the force Lucas"

"Use the force Lucas"
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Okay so there is good news and bad news. The good news is that At At Boo Boo was quite the hit on Threadless.com. It got lots of votes and some great comments.

"Please make this shirt - I'll never have to buy my boyfriend another present if I get him this. Off the hook........could that be heaven?"

The bad news is it doesn't look like its gonna be an actual Tee any time soon. I wrote the guys who run the show at Threadless and they had a two part explanation.
FIRST: They just did the "Vader Topiary" shirt and dont want to do two Star Wars themed shirts so close to eachother.
SECOND: They are waiting to see if George sends the legal storm troopers their way because of the first one.
I think those are good reasons to sit on it. And appreciated their fast and honest response.

Unfortunately during the voting process I was hard at work on my second submission (pictured above.) So I will surely have to wait on this one. But since its done I thought I'd throw it up here for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy, and may the force be with you, always.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
So Walking Spanish (avid reader of this blog) sent me this Vader Tee that was making the rounds on the interweb. I thought "hey, you can get away with using Vader? I've been sitting on my At-At idea for years... what the hell."

Well the readers of threadless.com appear to like it. It's getting lots of votes and comments and that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So go look at it and rate it and what not. If it wins I will use the money to secure an attourney and wait for Lucas to call.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

What do a scooter, a rotary phone and a piece of paper have in common?

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
If you are like me, something occasionally strikes you as a note worthy happening and you think about it here and there for an afternoon and it’s soon gone. Then you see it again (stage 2) and think maybe it’s a hot new trend and again it fades. The third time (stage 3) is usually when you realize it’s too late. That third time is usually in the pages of some trendy magazine (or blog now I guess) and you think “I sooo saw that coming.” Stage four is the act of slowly dissolving the nugget of self-confidence that had been gathering around the first sighting… the annoying grain of sand that you had been building on. Finally “I sooo saw that coming” becomes “what do I know from trends? Lets face it I’m no Cayce Pollard.”

Lately I have got a grain of sand that has been steadily growing and has not yet begun its disintegration. It is a trend that I am sure will soon have articles popping up about it to steal my pride.

I think the original “grain of sand” was the Razor scooter. Modern metals, urethanes and stickers disguising a chronological leap backward. A place to stand a couple of wheels and a handle bar. Sure it was shinier and capable of folding but it was still a scooter. A horse in Formula1 clothing. Next came the high tech equivalent of Hopscotch meets dancing. Dance Dance Revolution. Plug a “dance mat controller” into your X-Box then… and here’s the tough part… Get UP off the couch and play for DDR. Who knew gamers wanted to jump around, jump around?

The Trend I have been giving examples of was “insert name here.” Reverse Technology? Backwards Breakthroughs? Or maybe Ludite-tech? I’m sure the first article will nab the definitive moniker, but more evidence still exists. I bought a Pokia phone. A gift for my Ludite meets Jedi friend Tom and he flipped for it. What is it? Its an old school handset, in this case like that attaced to a pay-phone, which plugs into your cell phone to be used as a headset. We pondered the possibility of a cellular rotary that we could walk around with and chat “ordering room-service while pacing back and forth in your hotel room” style. You know the style… you give the back of your pea green, table top rotary phone two thirds of The Shocker and let it dangle at your side like a Hellboy fist. Our musings immediately materialized in the form of this 400 dollar lunge into the past. The Pokia element of the trend has gone full bore and is officially in full-scale commercial production.

But seriously, everyone knows cell phones are strictly hi-tech. Kids don’t even talk on them, they text, SMS and IM. Is it a stretch to say they morphed the Captain Kirk communicators we waited so long for into hand held telex machines. I think it is. So let me make it more tangible with this observation. SMS (text messaging) has gone Morse code. Left arrow equals DOT, right arrow equals DASH and your phone does the once laborious now instant decoding for you. Thanks to Morse Code cellular phone software kids are blowing away their old “words per minute” records using a system we all only dream about knowing 2 letters of so that we can some day alert our potential rescuers to our presence by knocking out S-O-S on a pipe.

These are all just toys. Scooters, video games, big, old phones plugged into tiny, new ones and SMS Morse Code software to cope with the diminished button real estate on those shrinking cellys. Where’s the kicker? The exclamation point. (Should a writer include his own editing thoughts within his editorial? Please advise.) Well, Here it is. E-PAPER. An Inverted Innovation that I have been anxiously awaiting. Hard to believe it, but staring at light emitting pixels drives me nuts. The idea of a glowing novel sickens me. Enter e-paper. Imagine billions of dollars and millions of minds hard at work to bring you a thin, flexible, non-reflective surface that can convey information like, say, I don’t know, a page in a book. E-Paper is the ultimate chronological step backwards save only perhaps one… WPIX TV’s Yule Log.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Can You Count Suckas!

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Nobody has ever given me a hard time about the titles of my three favorite movies... The Road Warrior, Star Wars and The Warriors. And I appreciate that. I am actually a pacifist.

Well luckily Rockstar Games(diligent peddlers of digital violence) is a fan of The Warriors as well. Which is why in October we will all get to actually be Ajax and knock that smug look off Swans face... with a bat!

First glances
(thanks to redboy for heads up) look pretty good with real Barry de Vorzon music and actual Cyrus voice over.

Can you count suckas? I say the future, is ours! If you, can count.

It Tolls for Thee

Equal Opportunity Blender
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Since we are on the warning tip... what should we really be afraid of? A recent linkable "aside" on engadget points here for Vegas style odds on how you are gonna go. This is statitical data so don't even try to cheat the odds by being careful. Just go with the flow and embrace the moment when it arrives. Dark I know. :)

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

There Should be Only One

There Should be only one
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
This is something that has bugged me for years and now I have a place to mention it.

I'd like to know what U.S. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop recieved from tobacco companies to push for our rotating 4 warning system on cigarettes or was he just duped into it.

Here are the warnings:

Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.

Quitting Smoking Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health.

Smoking By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal Injury, Premature Birth, and Low Birth Weight.

Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide.

The first one yeah thats a waring good job. 2nd says that quitting smoking is good for you, NOT that smoking is bad for you. 3rd yes it is a warning but it's one that speaks to a small percentage of the public. Finally
"Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide." Come on! Thats not a warning. Thats an ingredient. What is carbon monoxide? I know, you know, guess how many people don't. I'm sure alot of "man in the street" quiz replies would be "thats what you breath out." And even if you know what it is, is it bad for you? Can you say why? Why didn't they go with Arsenic or Cyanide? Are those too recognizable as poisons.

I am not anti-tobacco, I am just anti-corruption and I think those warnings being OKed for cigarettes is a joke. They were obviously designed to lessen the impact of the single warning under the guise four is four times better than one.

Finally, let me just say I only started smoking so that I could quit and "Greatly Reduce Serious Risks to My Health."

Oh and WARNING: Tea Contains Aluminum.