Saturday, December 31, 2005

Million Dollar Home Stretch

Million Dollar Pixel Page progress report

Remember this... Alex Tew's scheme to pay for college... The Million Dollar Homepage.

Well there are only one thousand pixels left. In fact I doubt those are still available. So Happy New Year Million Dollar Homepage. Definately one of the smartest moves ever made by an individual using the internet.

Now I would like to see The Million Dollar Homepage Quilt. Think about it.

UPDATE: Holly Crap what a good idea! Looks like Alex took the last 1000 pixels on his site and put 'em on eBay. The bidding has reached $21,400.00 and is climbing. I love this kid.

UPDATE 2: I wasn't gonna keep updating this, but I think the word is out because today the bids have lept to a staggering (yes, staggering) 149,900 dollars. I dont know what tax is on a million dollars, but Alex is not only going to make a million... he is going to clear a million.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

At At Boo Boo Gets His Day

Perhaps you reconize the At At Boo Boo T-Shirt. I did a little story on it in June. I had entered it at and though it scored VERY high it was not printed for legal reasons. Well I had all, but given up on the sucker when good friend and ghost boy Ricky Bacchus clued me in on the fact that CafeExpress was doing black shirts.

Using CafePress the At At Boo Boo shirt is now available. I will be making $2 per shirt. That part sucks , but at least the shirt will be made.

For those of you who do not know what an At-At is. It is somewhat of a "walking tank" and was featured in the Star Wars film The Empire Strikes Back.

Buy it here:

And check out Ricky's Luckiest Girls Tee here: Luckiest Girls

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


One of GNF's embedded agents in New York City's Subways sent these four pics and claims there are many more like them out there on the net. I don't think we can justify a raise, but maybe they will settle for a REALLY big box of those squishy neck pillows.

An MTA strike is neither Tech story nor T-Shirt nor Honorable mention, but ever since the PSP MTA MAP GreedoNeverFired has been hot with the subway crowd. So why not.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The Robots Are Coming, The Robots Are Coming!

They grow up so fast. And fast is the key word. When I first saw ASIMO running I thought "WOW, running, what a stupendous feat of technology... of balance!" Then it hit me. Back in December of 2004 Honda announced ASIMO's Top speed at 3 kph. Now in December of 2005 they have doubled that speed to 6kph. With that in mind (and assuming the average sustainable top speed of a human being is 15mph/24kph, I have calculated that we have until December of 2007 to enjoy the luxury of being able to out run robots. After that... they see you, they got you.

Here's some simple advice. As your body begins to give out be sure to splurge on that hip replacement or knee joint implants etc. Not that these upgrades will ever enable you to escape the metallic menace, but it is my belief the robots will take mercy on the cyborgs of our race.

Good luck.

UPDATE: By the way they overtake our land speed record in 2013.

Instant Free Webpage at

Here is a great way to make a website faster than you can say “dude, we so need a website” and its free! This really is the easiest one of these sites I have seen yet. Functionality is limited, but I am guessing it will grow.

I whipped up this one in about 15 minutes. It’s for a new rock club on the lower east side of Manhattan called Fontana’s.

They have their actual site (still temporary) at

Sunday, December 18, 2005

1984 meets 2014 (not)

Here is a link to an 8 minute flash video called Epic 2014 which is picking up new steam on the little old internet (originally released in early 2004). The piece is a mock futuristic news flash foretelling the death of "real journalism." It was created by young journalists Matt Thompson and Robin Sloan and I don’t like it. It just feels sooo much like propaganda. A gloom and doom projection of a future where “real” journalism is lost, driven bankrupt by a sensational, technological monster with no respect for institutions like The New York Times.

Move over RIAA. File sharing may destroy the music industry, but INTERNET NEWS threatens our VERY DEMOCRACY! It is true though. The internet makes “journalism” so accessible that soon nearly EVERYONE will have a voice and where is the democracy in that?!

Check this out. This is the second to last voiceover bit from vid.

"But at it’s worst, and for too many, EPIC is merely a collection of trivia. Much of it untrue, all of it narrow, shallow and sensational. But EPIC is what we wanted, it is what we chose, and it’s commercial success preempted any discussions of media and democracy for journalistic ethics."

That bit just kills me. It’s like this:

"Today I learned that as far as information on the web is concerned it is "all of it narrow, shallow and sensational."

"Oh really where did you learn that?"

"I'd rather not say."

From the handful of articles I read it appears journalist are calling the movie “chilling” and “a disturbing picture of a time that might be." To me it feels like a bit of flashy advertising. I do however think it is cute that its makers believe The New York Times will last till 2014. :)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Burger Kong

These Guys are killing me. Well, actually they are killing us. I kid. I LOVE BK. They have done a complete 180 on the fast food health trend. While McDonalds is pimping salads and “low-cal” chicken sandwiches, Burger King is serving up the Meat-Normous Breakfast sandwich and now the Kong-Sized Triple Whopper. In the ad they actually have a guy walk up to a two ton Triple Whopper… embrace it… and bite into the slimy grey meat. They have every right. Give the people what they want. Hell, tell the people what they want. They’ll eat it up.

Monday, December 12, 2005

“The Slashdot / Digg Effect” (or Nobody Goes There Anymore It’s Too Crowded)

This is a phenomenon that is really starting to bum me out. I will quickly explain what it is.

Sites like and are basically places that say “Hey, check out this cool thing on the web!” Millions of people visit these two sites and in turn jump to what ever is the latest “cool thing on the web.” Unfortunately, the site where this “cool thing” lives is rarely ready for the onslaught of visitors and almost without fail the site will quickly use up its allocated bandwidth or just plain “crash” under the strain. The sites that cause this phenomenon proudly dub it the “(insert culprit here) effect.”

I used to think it was kinda cool. I was impressed that this site I use to find neat stuff has so much power. Nowadays I find that it’s rare that I can even investigate the top 3 stories on Digg because they are either dead or so bogged down that the load times are waaaay to long for my patience.

I am just telling you about this because it bugs me. And because it is an interesting problem which I am curious to see how and if it will be remedied. You may also now understand why when your pal says, “hey check out the cool video at such and such link” that link doesn’t work for you. There’s a good chance it’s had its back broken by the scrillions that got there before you.

Yes, scrillions.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Friday, December 02, 2005

MORSE 4 PSP or -- --- .-. ... . / ....- / .--. ... .--.

I know, I know, another useless PSP experiment for you all to berate me for making. Sure it ain’t pretty nor the bleeding edge of technology, but in the immortal words of Minor Threat.

“…at least I'm fucking trying. What the fuck have you done?”

With that said. Here is a place to download a PSP version of the vid I made to help teach myself Morse code. It is only a lil' 1.2MB .sit file so it’s worth a try.

And here’s a VERY quick how to: First, you'll need to create a new directory in the root folder of your memory stick called "MP_ROOT." You'll then need to create a "100MNV01" directory inside the MP_ROOT directory. You'll put the video files (M4V00001.MP4 & M4V00001.THM) in this 100MNV01 directory.

That's pretty basic stuff for a PSP user. Still, it sounds so geeky it drives chicks wild.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

When Woilds Collide

Tomorrow Night. Thursday, December 1st, 2005 my very good friend will be appearing on The Late Show with Conan Obrien. I wish I could say that very good friend was Abe Vigoda but alas it is actually Jack Grace. No offense intended Mr. Grace. I would just rather insult Jack Grace than Sal Tessio. I am sure you understand.

I wont give away the gag. I will just say it will be a bit about Abe and some 2 bit country entertainer at the lighting of the xmass tree at Rockefeller Center. So if you know Jack or love Abe set your Tivo (sorry George, Greg, punk and Rock… ReplayTV.)

It oughta be a real hoot.

UPDATE! Jack Grace has just been replaced by David Cassidy. And so begins my official Partridge Family boycott.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Learning Morse Code (or Someone Needs A Job)

I recently decided to learn Morse Code. Yes, that’s right Morse Code. I started at a little NSA site called America’s CryptoKids. A fun little site our government uses to help find young code geniuses for future abduction. (Click on Operation Dit Dah.)

Then I downloaded this MP3 at of the letters A thru Z in Morse tones.

Finally, I felt like a good combination of visual and audio representations of Morse Code were lacking so I created this QuickTime Movie:

Yes, all to learn Morse Code.

UPDATE: CLICK HERE for an excelent Morse learning device for Windows, Mac, Linux even DOS.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Hey Sony, Locals Only!

By now many of you have seen the Sony PSP “Street Art” characters around your various cities. They are designed and deployed to look like the art that our beloved, guerilla street artists have been adorning our city with since before Cost and Revs.

My imagination falls short of the ability to conjure up the conversations that lead to decisions like these. “The kids seem to like the PSP, now if there were just a way to remind them of the huge, uncool, corporate entity that created it.”

I guess I just give those fat baldies too much credit. At least the punishment for shitting all over our prized city canvas is built in. They robbed their PSP of “cred” more quickly than soccer moms a assassinated the word “bling.”

It’s like this. Dads, if you are tired of your kids saying “my bad” start saying “my bad.” The little bastards will drop it like Galileo dropped a orange.

To enjoy real street art from the comfort of your own home go to Wooster Collective they break it down... nice.

UPDATE: Philadelphia orders SONY to remove a caricature PSP campaign from the walls of an inner-city neighborhood. Read ther article here.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

PSPS PlayStation Portable Security

Here is something I would like to see. Not so much to keep people from stealing your PSP right out of your hands (yoink!), but more as a statement. Like “you can have my PSP when you pry it from my cold, dead, carpel tunnel riddled hands.” It would also help solidify the image of the PSP as a fetish object.

Granted you’d have to put some kind of soft cover over the cuff and chain, but that’s easy enough.

Anyway, that is something I would like to see. Get on it!

Monday, November 21, 2005

TerrorVision News (Death From Above)

“What if terrorists had a spy satellite that could see our bridges, our chemical plants… even our back yards?

That is the teaser for the 10 O’clock News that has been running on The WB (WPIX-TV New York) all day.

I just want to go on record as saying my best guess is WB anchor Peter Thorne plans to expose the evil that is Google Earth
and Google Maps.

Normally I don’t watch television news, but now I have no choice, but to tune in and see just how badly these hacks will terrorize New Yorkers.

That is so weak. When the public falls for crap like this The WB wins.

Complain to The WB here.

Did I mention that when they say "even our back yards" there is a shot of a little girl on a swing.

Update: Told ya so.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Web Tip: Bug Me Not

You know when your friend sends you a link to a news story and instead of the link going to the story it asks you to enter your username and password? Of course you don't have either and they are gonna want your email address in return for the privilege.

Well screw that. Just go to and they will supply you with a username and password. Many of which are pretty damn funny.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

GNF Drops Actual Sports Reference (BG Astounded!)

Here's an idea I had. Don't know why this shirt is funny? Well That's what Google is for. Now to insure the post shows up in searches: 72 virgins, 72 dolphins, seventy two virgins, seventy two dolphins and miami.

UPDATE: See comments for explanation of this shirt.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

(God Forbid) Another T-Shirt Idea

I am pretty sure this was my friend Tom's idea. He was having lunch with two of "the chosen people" (Rock and I) when he blurted it out. I took it and ran with it. I have submitted it to a T-shirt site, but don't tell Tom. If he finds out I will have to split the money with him. And I'd probably have to give some to The Rock as well because (as stated earlier) he is a J-O-O.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


An article at CBC News Points out this interesting fact:

“Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin sent and received thousands of letters during their lives, and their correspondence shows the same pattern of communication as modern-day e-mails, scientists say.”

Imagine what guys like Darwin and Einstein could have accomplished with email. They were sending and receiving mail with a vengeance (a combined total of over 28,000 letters sent) at a time when snail mail was even "snailier" than it is now.

I have heard people say that email has destroyed the art of letter writing and it just ain’t true. Email is the art of letter writing. Granted Ken Burns is gonna be hurting to find long poetic letters to “My dearest Penelope” for his coming documentaries, but information is flowing back and forth in the blink of an eye and that’s cool. Trust me nothing would have made Einstein happier than getting mail at the speed of light.

Read the article

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Burger King Of All Media

What do you think about this? If you read tech blogs you might know that much of their content comes from tips from their readers. Sometimes the reader points out a little known site with a worthy story. Other times they are privy to some insider information that the rest of us are not. Well, big companies are becoming aware of how it all works and they are attempting to use it to their advantage.

This article at points out a handful of queries about the Burger King King Mask for Halloween. Rather than send a press release to blogs which might run a story that Burger King now has King Masks available BK has allegedly approached the blog in the form of emails from citizens who “heard” about the masks and were wondering if knew about them.

In another case Microsoft (makers of the Xbox 360) allegedly sent “tips” to that demos of upcoming games will soon be available for play at kiosks in Wal Mart stores. These “tips” arrived disguised (poorly with identical IP addresses) as information gleaned from Wal mart store employees and customers.

Check the links for samples of the covert marketing ploys.

I am going back and forth on how I feel about this. Is it dishonest? I suppose it is. Is it illegal? I don’t know. Is it effective? Well both of the blogs in my examples wrote stories about it. Granted the articles were pointing out the companies’ deception, but the damage/promotion is still done.

I have to say I don’t blame the companies. They are essentially playing ball. “Hacking” into the systems that report what’s hot and implanting their message. At the same time I understand the geeks getting pissed at the intrusion. The same way NYC rock bands got pissed when big business got hip to postering and stickers. But that is the way of things. The struggle to remain one step ahead keeps people sharp in my opinion. What do you think?

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Pixel Pusher

Million Dollar Pixel Page progress report

What is this you ask? It is a creation by one of my heroes. My internet hero. Alex Tew a 21 year old kid in Wiltshire, England who was afraid that college was gonna put him in the poorhouse so he came up with the idea for the Million Dollar Homepage.

One million pixels for sale at a dollar each. Sell them all and you have a million dollars. Of course you can't buy one pixel. You have to buy a batch of 100 which is still a pretty small square. You then fill that square however you like and link it to your website.

Well folks, look at the counter, so far he has sold half of them. $504,800 while I am typing this. College was long ago paid for and if he plays his cards right unnecessary.

Click the banner and check out the page. I don't know why, but I find it fascinating.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Violins In Video Games

I truly try not to get political here at GreedoNeverFired, but sometimes it simply cannot be helped. Violence in video games and its affect on the youth of America is an issue that must be addressed.

In the past 5 or 6 years video games have become both incredibly realistic and incredibly violent. Children are emulating the violence committed in these games at an alarming rate and something MUST BE DONE! According to recent statistics released by the FBI “Overall juvenile crime is down 30 percent…”

Oh… down 30 percent. And the downward trend coincides with the rise of realism and violence in video games. Well, ok then... never mind.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Security Retrieval Function (or "I'm A Brick!")

A few years back I was walking to my bartending gig when I spied a sweet cell phone... on the ground! So I pocketed it. When I got to work I broke it out and had a scroll through the numbers. The owner had failed to make the first number on the phone his home phone number (which I recommend) so I eventually settled on "Mom and Dad." Talked to his dad, who called his son and just like that the owner was on his way.

I Had also noticed while scrolling that he had the digits of some celebrity heavy hitters in there. I of course jotted down 2 or 3 for emergency purposes.

Well, he showed up with friends, asked for his phone, asked suspiciously more than once where I had found it, opened a tab drank for an hour, stiffed me and left. He never even thanked me.

So I called Jim Jarmush (one of his high brow phone numbers.) Put on my best "3 sheets to the wind" voice and left a message saying that (insert name on credit card from tab) was through with him and had no interest in working him in the future.

Why am I telling you this? I think there should be a new cell phone feature called "Remote Locking" or "Secure Retrieval." It would work like this... You realize you've lost your phone. You may also realize whoever finds it can call their relatives in Pakistan for the rest of the night (right Ricky?) or they might find your dirty pics and put em on-line (right Paris?) So you borrow your friends phone and call yours and enter the "Security Retrieval" code. The phone disables all functions excluding the ability for the person who found it to leave a message on it's voice mail. A big 'ol message would notify the Good Sam of his one option and he would of course do the right thing.

Easy, peasy, japaneasy.

UPDATE: It occurs to me that you would also want the ability to be the only one who can call the phone once it is disabled. So when you call your own phone you get the message "please enter Security Retrieval code." Ok I think that covers it.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

PSP - Personal Studying Peripheral

I am gonna come at this tiny breakthrough like this. The PSP is a tough sell for the kids. That is to say I had a hard enough time convincing my dad to get me TCR (Total Control Racing) and that was cheap. I can't imagine a kid convincing his parents to spring for a $250 plus device. Unless... Unless it could also be a learning tool. A "study aid" if you will.

It occurred to me that flipping thru photos on my PSP was not unlike using flash cards. So I whipped up some examples of the PSP as a study aid. One is S.A.T. vocabulary and the other is Spanish vocabulary (with peectures!)

Again, its obvious and easy, but I couldn't find it anywhere so here it is. I am not going to expand on it and complete the sets. They are just to show what can be done. I am actually just putting them up in hopes that the folks who already make these types of study tools will grab it and run with it and in turn make it easier for kids to beg for a PSP.

In short I am doing it for the children.

The folders needed are SIT files. I think you have to right click for peecee and option click for mac, or something like that, to do save as.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Requesting Immediate Back-Up!

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
As you may have already guessed Dave Himself (that's me,) my design company and GNF operate from my home. How else would I have the time to write pointless articles for a handful of strangers. It is a sweet deal I have to say. Nothing beats making a living in your tighty whiteys.

A draw back that recently occurred to me is the fact that all of my important files live in the same place. Sure I back up my files (I actually do and you soooo don't.) But I back them up to an external drive one foot away from my computer. In the even of a catastrophe (flood, fire, accidental demolition of my building) I would of course lose my computer as well as my back-up.

So I fire up the google and find This site will give you 10 gig of back-up for free. 10 gig wont cut it for me (big fat PhotoShop files) so i will be paying, but for most of you it will handle a ton of word docs, emails, excel docs and more. It's easy and its free and the alternative is to tell the your client or your boss or your professor or the IRS that "you're sorry but the files are gone."

Take a peek. It's very user friendly and it is the future of data storage. Eventually only paranoid schizophrenic outlaws will have local drives. I've got four, 500 gig, Seagate Barracudas in zip-locks in my freezer. There's hardly any room for severed fingerprinting hands in there.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Come Out To Play-ay!

I think we can all agree that perhaps the greatest use of the NYC subway system of all time was, is and shall always be it's use as a back drop for Walter Hill's timeless masterpiece The Warriors. I personally have never had the pleasure of using a NYC subway restroom, but I can assure that if I did I would emerge from my stall ready to fight.

Okay, maybe we don't all agree, but many are with me on this I am sure. Since my most successful blog post by 11,000 hits was thanks to the NYC subway I have decided to stick to the theme. That and the fact my Ultimate Directors cut of the film arrived in the mail today.

First off, I would like to say this is a must have for any Warriors fan. It is not overflowing with special features, but has plenty of commentary from Hill, many of the actors (who are aging worse than the cast of Star Trek,) costume designers and more. Also the "print" looks and sounds faboo. What it lacks is a glossy 10 page pull out (the package contains the disk and small card promoting The Warriors video game.) It also has 6 "un-skipable" previews/ads (hate that, but at least one is for the MacGyver set.)

The image you see on the PSP above is the map featured in the opening scenes of The Warriors, and is discussed in one of the four well done featurettes.

Amamzon has got the UMD Here. And the DVD Here.

This guy Here has a strange sense of design, but an amazing collection of Warrior based goodies.

Caaan Youuu Diiig It!

Thursday, September 29, 2005


This one seems kind of obvious, but hey I haven't seen one yet. I also couldn't find one with google. So here ya go.

A NYC Subway Map for the SONY Playstation Portable (PSP.)

Fun, safe and crystal clear. (in fact you could even take the resolution down to save precious memory stick space.)

I am fairly sure I should say you may not use this map. It is not to be downloaded by clicking Here and dropped into a PHOTO folder on your PSP. It should also not be viewed using the magnifying glass (found when you push the triangle button.) And finally you should not use the Joystick to navigate thru the map.

Ok, that should satisfy the boys in legal.


UPDATE: This map was obtained from and was designed by Michael Calcagno.

Self Serving Caption Contest

"Red Sox vow not to shave 'till winning another series."

Do you know what a caption contest is? Probably, they are all over the web. The picture is provided and the readers write a caption. There is a popular one using cartoons in The New Yorker.

Why am I suddenly doing a caption contest? Because I saw this funny picture and came up with a funny caption. A blog is often a place to stroke ones ego and my ego is going blind.

Got a caption? Leave it in the comments. Thank You BooNYC for sending me the pic link. And somebody tell Rob G. to look at dave's blog today.

UPDATE: THIS GUY is hands down the best caption writer ever. Check out a few. Good luck stopping.

Hey Steve, C'mon already. (or i got an itch that needs to be scratched)

UPDATE: Now that there are rumors a Apple Phone MIGHT be coming. I look at this thing again and realize the Nano portion should be spun around so you wouldn't have to open it to use the player (hecne the blue arrow.)

You get the idea folks.
1000 songs, 1000 contacts, 1000 dollars... I don't care just make it already.

When the ROKR came out with it's 100 songs I was one of many who said "Wait a minute, an iPod Nano and a RAZR glued together would have 1000 songs and still be smaller than the ROKR."

So I have designed the fon+nano. Yes, it is a phone with iTunes, but more importantly it keeps the two gadgets separate. This design gives you your "iPod" the way you've grown to love it AND a phone.

Though I would like the two devices to work together when I push the "Hey, check out this new Hermano song I am listening to right now" button.

UPDATE: Looking at my design again i realize the Nano portion of the device should be flipped so that the closed Phone it just a Music Player.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Games People Play

Take a look at this picture and tell me what you think.

If you think "What are those?" Then perhaps you are at the wrong blog.

Now if you thought "OMG! All the buttons needed to build a control panel for Stargate Defender!" Then we should hang. (Lord knows we probably have the spare time. )

But seriously folks if you did know what those buttons are then you should take a looky here... These guys are gonna provide thousand of old school (and not so old school) games via the internet by subscription. Ok, you are all like "meh, big deal." Well it just may be a big deal. Think of it as cable for video games. Ya know, like Nick at Night or Cartoon Network or AMC. Its a way to put video games into syndication after they have run their (often way to short) course. I think it could be huge.

Only time will tell of course, but if you'd like to get in on the bottom floor now is the time. Gametap is now taking names (and email addresses of course.) Sign up and you may get to walk the bleeding edge of the technology razor. By playing old video games? YES I SAY!

If you'd really rather just build your own arcade style Stargate Defender there is info HERE that will surely help. (Richie Rock I am talkin' to you!")

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi

Pepsi Machine
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Okay, this story isn't really new, but I am betting it will be new to many of you. A post on shows you how to make an unsuspecting Pepsi machine your little play thing. Before telling you how, the author states:

"The author of this article and/or cannot be held responsible for any act(s) any person(s) has (have) done as a result of reading this article."

And I would like to reiterate the same sentiment.

The basic idea is this, with the right combination of button pushes one can place the Pepsi machine into an administrative mode where they will have the ability to... view sales information, run a diagnostic and more. This particular hack doesn't have a "free soda" button combo, but I am sure without much effort someone will find a mode to change the cost of each beverage.

The interesting thing here is it reminds us that manufacturers only have so many buttons to work with. So they program button combos for operations other than those listed plainly on the buttons. Did you ever call the cable company with a problem and they say "hit MENU, MENU, GUIDE, 2, 4, 3" or something along those lines. Same thing here "Pepsi, Pepsi, Aquafina, Diet, Diet."

Yes, there is a similar hack for Coke machines. And thats not all. Elevators have buttons too right? So?... guess what. Hacks. If you have Google (and I know you do) then I bet you can find out how to put your elevator in express mode and skip everyone else's stop to get to yours.

So in closing, those of you with children (congratulations Walking Spanish and Adam M) don't be so quick to reprimand when the little bstrds start wailing on every bunch of buttons they can get their hands on. They are button phreaking.

What the hell is phreaking?! Wiki it!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Whats Your Vector Victor? (or bloggers love to write about themselves)

So those guns I threw together to make that Nintendo controler post kept taunting me. "Make something with us... make something with us." So I took the opportunty to teach myself to use "paths" in PhotoShop and was amazed how versatile an image suddenly becomes when it has been designed as a vector graphic. I will be expecting an "I told you so" from many including... Benny, Greg, Mike S, Jamie, Patrick and Kuff Daddy. Probably many more. I am kicking myself for not trying sooner.

Those of you unfamiliar with half a dozen terms in this post need only be familiar with one wikipedia

Friday, September 16, 2005

Take The Heat Nintendo

Nintendo Controller
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
The new Nintendo Revolution controller was revealed today and I know most of you don't give R.O.U.S.'s ass about it, but I do. And if you read my last post you know why. It is innovative and opens up possibilities. Yet all the comments threads I am reading are full of people laughing at it and calling it the "death of Nintendo." This has solidified my opinion that most gamers are not geeks. And that many geeks are posers.

Yes the controler is weird looking and nothing like you are used to. BUT...

Without mutation there can be no evolution.

PS. I made the graphic to make the point that independant controlers for each hand makes sense and is closer to reality.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

"The Touch Screen That Touches Back" (or how DaveHimself is affected by technological advances.)

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
What we have here is a touch-screen. That's one of those screens with pictures of buttons on it that you can push. You know, the ATM, the ticket kiosk and most importantly the touc-screen we use to keep 3 jacks and discard a pair of 3's in a ludicrous attempt at 4 of a kind. Well this screen here has a new trick. Its called Tactile Feedback. When you touch this screen it is capable of sending back info in the form of "tactile force." So it could vibrate or thump or even resist the push of your finger tip. Hence "The Touch Screen That Touches Back" headline that everyone is using.

This post is not so much about the pictured touch-screen as it is about how a geek like me reacts to advancements like this. Stop now and ask yourself what you thought about this new technology as you read. Maybe it was something along the lines of "That's cool, I guess" right? Well when I read it I said "holy crap that is amazing." Not because its hard to do though I am sure it ain't easy. It's that its an amazing and thought provoking advancement in the exchange of information. Since the invention of the CRT in 1897 (if you count plain old indicator lights even earlier) we have been looking to bits of light for info for over 100 years. We have since added millions of lights, color, and animation, but until now the info has only been addressed to one of our senses. Even when we started touching the screens we simply aimed for what we saw. Now a second sense, touch, has been added to the information that "leaves" a screen.

The next phase of a geek's reaction to this is to imagine all of the uses of the new technology. At first glance applications should seem scarce. That is normal, the tech is brand new, but you just keep thinking and things start popping into your head. First the obvious ones. When you push the right button you can feel a friendly "buzz" and when you push the wrong button you get an annoyed "thump." What makes a buzz "right" and a thump "wrong" you ask? Why the manufacturer thats who. The same way the guys who make your computers and your operating systems decided "bing" means correct, yes and finished. While "bong" means incorrect, not allowed or uh-oh.

So now your mind is racing, just what is this tactile feedback really capable of. Could it make touch-screen use accessible to the blind. Could it eliminate all that damn boop boop beep beep you hear while waiting inline at the "cash ma-scene." Hey, there's another benefit, button feedback helps the deaf. (When we push the wrong key we get "bonk," but they don't.) A DJ unit could send the beats per minute to your finger when your ears are busy. Eventually I would say we will get a whole lot of info coming thru our screens and into our fingertips. Don't believe me? Ask video gamers how important "force feedback" is in the games they play and just how much information is relayed to their sense of touch via their "Dual Shock Controllers."

This post was inspired by this story in: Gizmag

((it is also where the picture was stolen)

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

New Links

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Walking Spanish over at WHITEBELTS recommended

Both are available in the links on the right.

Here is another link: crooks and liars

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

You Go Joel!

Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
A few month's back my favorite freelance Technology writer, Joel Johnson
(NYC), left my favorite blog, Gizmodo. He has since started writing articles for Wired News.

Last week he decided to drop what he was doing and head to New Orleans. He is headed there to help "to establish wireless communications networks in the Gulf Coast region."

He has rounded up a team of geeks and is putting them to good use.

Read his post from Gizmodo and see if you can help.

You'd be surprised how much more The Salvation Army, The Red Cross and every other relief organization can get done once their cell phones and laptops are re-connected.

BY THE WAY: Joel is working closely with this guy: Michael "Interdictor" Barnett. You will be hearing alot about this "geek" who stayed in harms to become (like it or not) a hub for the dissiminating of information on the web.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005


Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
I was reading over at Gizmodo about how Hummer is teaming up with Itronix to make a durable laptop and the picture Gizmodo used amused me.

They say the laptop will actually be pretty tough.

But just look at what a wee pick-up did to that big bad Hummer.

I guess make-up can't block a punch. Who knew?

Monday, August 29, 2005

DOS BOOT at Threadless (Rock The Vote)

My Submission

Click above and vote for my t-shirt design. Thanks.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Raving Lunatics

Raving Lunatics
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
The cops in Utah went ape on what was allegedly a completely legal, insured rave. The insurgents look more like Marines than cops to me.

Go to the article here at STONEFRUIT. Watch the video, listen for "WHERE'S ME JUMPER?! WHERES ME JUMPER!?"

By the way, thanks for the heads up on this story goes to GNF reader WalkingSpanish, again.

Dos Boot (Tee-Shirt)

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Many of you... (5 of my 7 readers) Might be saying "Why is that funny?" Well, here's why:

Sea Wolf is an old, old submarine game. So old you could or would write it and play it using "DOS." And to do so you would want to "BOOT" up your machine in DOS.

Finally, DAS BOOT is German for "THE BOAT" which is the title of the 1981 film about a german WWII U-boat or submarine.

See now you are ROTFL

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Breakfast Links (thats any link posted before noon)

Here's a little link that is old, but hugely useful. Its for when you want to send some one an email with a link to a mapquest page or a specific product in a shopping site. You know the ones where you get url that looks like this:

Well just take that behemoth to and they will squish it down to wee for you free of charge like so:

And if you are still using Mapquest let me know if i can interest you in buying my ColecVision console, my magnavox digital camera and about 25 yards of Co-ax.

Google Maps

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Clonus. NOT "Clone us."

Clonus NOT "Clone us."
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Ya know that movie The Island with Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson about escaped clones who exist only to supply their genetic counterparts with spare organs. I heard it sucked. (The days of me seeing every movie remotely resembling sci-fi are long over.) Something was bugging me about it. I kept thinking wasn't this an episode of The Outer Limits or something like it.

Well after some heavy research (google.) I got my answer. Strangely enough I had seen the entire story laid out in episode 811 of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Ya know the show where a guy named Joel and two robots rip bad movies a new set of sprocket holes. This particular edition made sport of Parts: The Clonus Horror with Peter Graves.

Is it Ironic that a clone movie spawned a clone or is it that they both SUCK?

"Parts: The Clonus Horror" cost $257 thousand.
"The Island" cost $120 million.
The only thing actually worth watching is the MST3K episode. Probably available here.

Monday, August 15, 2005

"Potent Portables" for 250 Alex

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
I honestly can't understand why people bother writing scathing reviews about the PSP. Nitpicking on things like battery life, movie and memory formats. Is it Nintendo fanboys who regret that the DS has all the cool games, but that's all its got? (2 screens! you say. Yeah, I believe Jeff Foxworthy has a name for you guys with 2 TVs stacked on each other.) Is it just Sony haterz? No, because we are all Sony haterz.

Well whatever it is I think it's time to stop. This thing is proving the hell out of its self. I am playing WipeOut Pure even when my XBox is right in front of me. Playing against friends wirelessly and strangers VERY wirelessly. I am Googling terms no sweat wherever I can find a hot spot. Oh that's right and I am finding hot spots.

Perhaps it is too expensive? Lets see... Hand held gaming system, portable movie player, MP3 player, photo viewer, WiFi locater, Web browser, soon to be audio/video messager and more importantly who knows whats next. I'd say thats pretty reasonable at 250.

A Rhythm Composer(drum machine) is now available and new stuff is coming all the time.

Maybe you DS guys need to stop playing all those killer games you brag about and start writing some code. Necessity is the mother of invention ya know.

By the way I so did this post just 'cause I wanted to use the headline.

UPDATE: Nintendo just anounced it will be slashing the cost of the DS by 20 dollars. Looks like Hiroshi reads GNF.

BAM! First Full-Length Graphic Novel Released for Sony PSP
(story at joystiq)

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Live From New Monfassa Its...

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
This Spartan Life

A talk show... Yawn. It consists of animated characters voiced by real people... Gimme Space Ghost Coast to Coast. It all takes place in Halo2. Yaw... WHAT?!

That is great. Using the existing Halo2 environments and players to do a TV show. I love it.

The concept is called Machinima. Like a machine making cinema. It is the art of using existing digital realms, characters and the and the devices that control and render them to create your own story line. If you are creative you can really make some sweet stuff.

This Spartan Life has interviews and comedy and even The Solid Gold Elite Dancers. Relax fanboys, I know Red vs. Blue was first on this, but This Spartan Life really makes use of the game.

Does Bungie (makers of Halo) frown on people reaping these benefits from all their hard-work? No, in-fact there is a Machinima setting in which you can go weaponless so as to be a cameraman with an unobstructed view.

Ok, I have officially lost all, but serious Halo2 fans (Tim and myself) so I will end with this. Shows like Red vs. Blue and This Spartan Life may seem like fun tricks, but trust me they are the beginnings of much larger things.

Oh here's the easy hack for having a cameraman: In a Machinima Oddball Game just overcharge the Plasma Pistol and pick up the Oddball. Then drop the Oddball. (Thanks

Watch This Spartan Life.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Bird Does Moonwalk, But Does Not Sleep With Hatchlings.

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
This is neither Tech nor T-Shirt and it may even be a bit internet stale to some, but I just watched Deep Jungle on Nature and they featured this little Red Capped Manakin. His mating ritual is strictly dance moves and he's got stupid, crazy skills.

See him shake his tail feather here.

By the way the ornithologist Kim Bostwick has some skills as well.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Why Didn't I Think Of That

Goldfish Hearing
Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
"They say goldfish have no memory
i guess their lives are much like mine
and the little plastic castle
is a surprise every time."
Ani DeFranco

Goldfish unlike elephants are accused of having an extremely short memory. Hence the name for this "hearing" aid. The beauty is that it's purpose is not to amplify what you are hearing, but to replay what you missed. That's right instant replay for things people said. Convo Tivo. Why didn't I think of that!?

Just Imagine, your best friend says "I need you to take position here behind this jeep, then on my signal, take out the east and west guard posts. got it?" If you ain't got it, you simply tap your ear, the last 10 seconds replays and you and your rocket launcher are on your way.

This is currently an imaginary invention at Human Beans, but it seems feasible and I am sure something like it is just around the corner. Remember the communications satellite was an imaginary invention once as well.

UPDATE: Wait a minute. Is this illegal? Is it "wearing a wire?" I guess only a lawyer would know for sure... well not for sure.

Thursday, July 28, 2005


Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
"Sony BMG Music Entertainment, agreed Monday to pay $10 million and to stop paying radio station employees to feature its artists."

Epic (SONY label) employee who was trying to promote the group Audioslave to a Clear Channel network programmer asked in an e-mail:

"WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET AUDIOSLAVE ON WKSS THIS WEEK?!!? Whatever you can dream up, I can make it happen."

I was not surprised to find out SONY was paying radio stations to play Audioslave records.

I was however quite surprised when I heard people were paying to listen to Audioslave records.

Forbes writes about it right here where i stole the quotes.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Everything Bad Is Good For Swing Votes

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
A while back I did a post about Steven Johnson's "Everything Bad Is Good For You: How Today's Popular Culture Is Actually Making Us Smarter." A book about the positive aspects of pop culture focusing largely on video games.

Those of you who still think "Hot Coffee" is why you sue McDonald's won't understand the importance of Mr. Johnson's recent open letter to Hillary Clinton, but a quick google search on "hot coffee" will get you up to speed and you'll be surprised by the lack of hits pertaining to actual "cups of joe."

Hillary, among others, is going after the video game industry with both barrels due to a mini game someone unlocked in Grand Theft Auto that involves clothed characters dry humping. She and her constituents are calling for a 90 million dollar study on the effects of violence in video games on today's youth.

Steven Johnson's letter pretty well sums up my opinion of the ridiculous waste of money, time and effort these politicians are about to embark upon at our expense.

Remember watching Frank Zappa go up against the Senate, the PMRC and the RIAA? He told the music listening public "Don't bend over for the wives of big brother."

Remember Ozzy Osbourne being implicated as the cause of a double teen suicide. They even brought up his song "suicide solution" in court failing to realize it was about the dangers of alcoholism.

It's insane scenes like that which bring us the likes of Good Charlotte and Maroon 5 (spit).

I never used to know exactly what "knee jerk reaction" meant. I think I get it now.

GameGirlAdvance has a nice take on it.

"Always two there are, a master and an apprentice."

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
This just in: An unnamed spokesperson for the Rebel Alliance has issued a statement regarding the new white PSP.

"Not since Haliburton was granted the Death Star contract has the Alliance been more outraged. SONY has obviously chosen sides in the battle against good and evil. Rumors began when the PSP was released in all black. Though it was not branded as such it was obviously the Darth Vader edition. The recent release of the Stormtrooper edition simply proves our point."

A representative at SONY claims that "white was simply the obvious choice after black," he added "We will seriously consider talking to some of those "iPod sock" companies about making a baggy orange jumpsuit with grease stains on it as a PSP "skin" option for rebels." The Alliance was not impressed.

Check the snazzy photos at PSPworld

Play the original gaming system that came in black and white here

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

"I'm The Man In The Box"

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
Does somebody make this already? If they don't I wish they would and if they do I have my Amex ready. I'd like a box to put on my desk with an AI (artificial intelligence) in it. A really dumb one. But it can speak, it can hear and most importantly it can learn alot. I was thinking out of the package it would know a few simple phrases and the rest it would learn from me.

So you know I get it and plug it in and go "hi" and it says "hello, what's your name?" I say "Dave" and it say Hi, Dave. What is my name? I say "Box" and so on.

Then I go out for a bit and come back and say "hey, what's happnin' box?" and it will respond "how do I reply to that?" And I say "you may say 'not much really, just kinda sitting around.'"

The box will have little unseen inteligences like one to help it notice if it is repeating itself often and ask for alternate answers that it can choose from. And so chats with the box would become more and more interesting and involved as time went by and soon I would be leaving the AC on for Box and feeling bad about going on vacations.

Eventually I connect 'ol Box up to the internet so I can ask it questions and it can google them. And I hook it up to my lights and stereo and TV. It will be particularly exciting for me and those of my namesake on that inevitable day when I go to make a minor adjustment on the unit and with no prompting at all Box will calmly say "Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

Friday, July 22, 2005

iDJ youDJ we all DJ... Just Not With This.

Originally uploaded by lowereastside.
This post could easily have been an Oh My God I So Thought Of That feature if not for the fact that What I thought of makes alot more sense. So consider this a product review.

Ok, lets have a look at this thing. Numark's IDJ mixing console. It looks great, all ipody and everything. But see here's the thing. See those 2 Ipods? Maybe one is yours and one is your roomate's. Maybe you have your old ipod and your new one (it accepts any model.) Chances are they are full of different songs. So you are playing Bounce, Skate, Roll and the dance floor is packed. You suddenly realize the perfect mix (obviously) would be coming into Slave's Watching You. The BPMs match and the feel is just right. BUT oh wait. Those songs are on the same I pod. And why wouldn't they be. Same genre, same era...

Here's what they should have done. Have an ipod dock on the left, on the right have a tilted elevated screen to match the left side. When you dock the ipod it emulates a copy of itself in some kind of cache which appears on the left side's "ipod screen." Now you've got all of your songs available all of the time, including what's playing. So unless I'm missing something in the descriptions I am reading Numark dropped the ball. My way the unit would have been alot more enticing to consumers who own only one Ipod and would be more useful to an actual DJ.

But its white with light blue markings and round edges so I am sure it will sell like... um... like ipods!

UPDATE: We have just recieved word from an anonymous commenter... "in case you guys dont know numark have just brought out the Numark Idj2 it only holds one ipod and YES you can play two songs from teh same ipod problem SOLVED!" GNF cracks the whip and industry falls in line. I brag about it HERE.